Beauty

Do Ugly People Have It Easier?

Being kind of attractive kind of sucks

I crouched on a windowsill to get the right lighting for this shot. Author’s own photo.

I’m trying not to sound completely tone-deaf here, so bear with me. I used to think I was ugly for years. My nickname right through to my late teens was “second ugliest girl in the school after Rosie”, which was almost as hurtful as it was unwieldy. In retrospect, I don’t think the bullies at my school tried very hard.

But I don’t think I’m ugly anymore. I am solidly alright-looking. Attractive even, in the right light, and the right angle. And therein lies the problem.

See, my face is a series of near-misses. My eyes are a nice colour (and unusual, natural red hair and blue eyes is the rarest combination in the world) but they’re an unattractive shape; downturned and droopy. Every show I do, without fail, someone will mention my eyes. They’ve made makeup artists cry.

“Your eyes make it so hard to make you look like a model “— Bitchy Makeup Artist, circa 2015

My lips are soft and full but my mouth is narrow and pinched, giving me a natural Betty Boop look that entirely does not suit the rest of my face. I need to make sure any cameras stay to my left because my left profile looks contoured and refined, and my right profile looks…