Ranking the best, worst and most bizarre things tourists have said to me

“No Sir, that’s a Starbucks”

I’ve been a London tour guide for nearly 10 years: it honestly never gets boring.

The best question I was ever asked: “Excuse me, where is the Titanic”?

I supressed the urge to reply “at the bottom of the ocean”. To be fair, there was an exhibition on in Belfast at the time, which I assume is what they meant, but I’m not sure how much that helped them given we were in London.

Runner-up best question: “Is this Buckingham Palace”?

London is full of very old, very grand buildings that have become very mundane places; mostly offices and chain coffee shops. I once had a lovely, smiley Japanese man on board my bus who evidently didn’t speak much, if any, English. Probably about 15 times on that tour he would point at a random building and say, hopefully: “Buckingham Palace”? No sir, that’s a Starbucks.

Photo by TR on Unsplash

Best thing I overheard: “Okay, lets get off here and walk to the Spanish Steps”

I overheard a man say this to his companion as they alighted the bus at Trafalgar Square. The Spanish Steps are in Rome. I hope they were ready for a long walk.

Best thing a child shouted on my bus: “Nothing!”