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Your Insecurities Are Not Nicole Kidman’s Problem

Don’t hate the player, hate the game

Victoria Suzanne

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Eva Rinaldi via Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0

Ah, celebrities. They just won’t do what we ask of them, will they? If they’re not off getting botox, they’re getting all disgustingly wrinkled instead. If they’re not letting themselves go they’re flaunting their ‘unrealistic’ physiques.

Listen, famous women of the world, it’s really quite simple: you must age “gracefully” but without showing any visible signs of age. Stay palatably slim, but not too slim. And absolutely no muscles.

Did you all hear me? Right, then let’s…hang on, what the hell?! Nicole, YOU HAD ONE JOB.

That’s right, fresh after the controversy over Madonna’s suspiciously plump face and even plumper buttocks, the latest celebrity causing conniptions is Nicole Kidman. The actor graces the cover of the current issue of Perfect magazine, and she is looking hench AF.

I think we can all agree that it’s a striking image. From her vibrant red hair styled in an of-the-minute wolf cut (hair…

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